Tuesday

I have another blog to write, but it'll be pretty intense (I think anyway) and I'm not ready to write it yet. But I'd be remiss if I posted it without having a brief post to honor and mourn the passing of my sister soldier Madalyn Castelucci. I mentioned her and her daughters previously. I went to school with Christine and Catherine. I had the pleasure of being good friends with Christine, who I met in freshmen year at Tottenville HS. I spent a lot of time at their house, it was such a joy to hang out there and John and I shared our first kiss at the New Year's Eve Party 1993.

When I first met her family Madalyn was going through a very difficult time and the last thing she needed was a house full of teenagers crowding her house and eating all her food. But we were always welcome and she always had smiles, hugs and kisses for us. No matter how hard she was working or what she was dealing with, she was the kindest most loving woman. It was not only like having a second mom but like having a second home. When I look at the photos we have from High school a TON of them are from Madalyn's house.

More recently we all reconnected thru Facebook and then at the Healing Masses at Our Lady Star of the Sea. I have such fun memories of Madalyn making faces at me during the funnier healing stories. Sharing our hatred of the mediport. And just the hugs and kisses in general. I think those were the I went to the Masses even when I was exhausted or nauseous from treatment or just didn't want to think I had cancer. Knowing she'd be there to make me smile and I would leave feeling invincible!

Madalyn lost her battle with Lung Cancer on Sept. 20, 2011, 8 months to the day after I was diagnosed. I don't say that to make this about me, it's just that Madalyn popped into my head the moment I was diagnosed. She kept me from losing my mind because I knew someone in the fight. I genuinely hoped we'd beat the odds and cross the finish line together. When John told me she was gone I looked at him like he was speaking a different language, what do you mean she's gone? She can't be gone!

She left this earth peacefully surrounded by her beautiful daughters. That brings me some comfort because two incredible women in my life have passed at home with their children by their side. But I'm still selfish and wish they were granted more time. But we're given what we're given and we can't appeal.

So here's to my sister soldier, I will take you with me to every treatment, I will wake up with you in my heart every morning, and I will continue to fight for both of us. I don't really know what else to do.